T-Rex with laser guns, Lions with machine guns VS. Result: Hippo torn to shreds within six seconds.īeast Battle Simulator is on Steam for £6.Beast Battle Simulator is a physics based battle-simulation sandbox game featuring dinosaurs, animals, and humans. But the last hippo was ready, because his Gods were with him. Also, he had flamethrowers, miniguns, lasers and a shotgun. With his trusty cannon atop his back, he regarded the restless, gladiatorial mass of birds with a sad but determined eye. He was the last of his kind, and although the odds were against him, he stood with a stoic grace, waiting patiently for the first talon to take a step forward. The War Hippo, as his foes called him, was ready for battle. Their peoples had been sworn enemies for centuries, a grand animosity that had left Africa in ruins and which had almost wholly destroyed the hippopotamus population. Endless droves of flightless birds, hissing, stomping, yearning for his blood. The sun rose high above the old coliseum that day, and the hippo knew his Gods were with him. Result: 3-0 to the seagulls War Hippo vs a battalion of ostriches But, if anything, the death of their midfielder simply made the seabirds more efficient. At one point, a seagull was eaten alive and I thought the sharks could make a comeback. In the end, it was enough that they moved swiftly, driving the ball repeatedly into the goal area. The birds, meanwhile, flew chaotically toward the ball at any given opportunity, with no concept of teamwork but with an admirable amount of energy. The great whites, lacking the maneuverability that has been historically granted to creatures with feet, could get neither the strength nor the momentum to proceed into their opponent’s side of the pitch, instead opting for a “flailing wildly” strategy. For some reason, I believe the gulls to be so outmatched in this face-off that it’s only fair to obstruct their goalposts with a pile of crates.īut as soon as the whistle blows, the victor becomes clear. The sharks are seemingly at a disadvantage, being aquatic animals, but the seagulls are vulnerable and weak. Result: Tank wins Three sharks and three seagulls play Rocket League This last wave of doggy resistance was only defeated after running into the tank’s armour head-first and crushing their own skulls with the force of impact. At this point the tank was firing both machine guns and its primary cannon, but still a handful of the hounds remained. Surprisingly, this didn’t dampen their canine morale and they continued to chase the strange metal creature around the grassy plains, barking at it in a way that can only be described as “a normal dog barking noise”.
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